Backstage: Life behind the limelight
by AngeDREAMS
Summary: Every rose has its thorn. Fuji is not an exception. The genius Fuji. The handsome Fuji. The ever popular Fuji. Everyone all wants to be like Fuji. If only they knew.. (Diary format, Slight romance - shonen-ai)


**Age 2**

"A..b..c...x..y..and..Z.." Syuusuke started clapping with his flabby arms, shrieking in delight.

"Syuusuke, did you just...just recite the alphabets? You are so amazing! come, let mama give you a hug!"

"Darling, did you just witnessed Syuusuke reciting the alphabets? Come Syuusuke, recite it again for your father"

Syuusuke opened up his saliva filled chubby lips once again and begin to recite the alphabets again, each letter by each letter slowly, but clearly.

"That's amazing! Even Yumiko(Syuusuke's sister) couldn't recite the Japanese alphabets till the age of 5, but Syuusuke..is able to recite both English and Japanese's alphabet before reaching 3 that's unbelievable!" Father exclaimed.

"Syuusuke, you are our dear dear darling tensai!..aww how much I love you sweet heart!" Mother then hold Syuusuke close to her lips and gave him a peck on his cheeks.

Syuusuke couldn't exactly understand why his parents are so excited about. To him, it is just following what the TV screen is playing. That video literally looped the whole day, so it wasnt that difficult to learn it at all. But he was sure that what he just did pleased his parents, and knowing that makes him feel happy and secured. Closing his small, oval shaped eyes, and began to doze off into lala land.

 **Age 3**

Syuusuke is old enough to understand things. And he understands that he has a beautiful older sister, Kurumi, and an adorable younger brother, Yuuta. Yumiko nee chan is always busy with work, so he hardly have much time to interact with her. But he still have Yuuta to accompany him, so he isnt bored. However, all Yuuta could do is just to gargle, it is difficult to strike a conversation with him. By the age of 3, Syuusuke is able to hold a simple, yet broken conversation, and he hopes to be able to communicate with his younger brother as well, so he tried to teach his brother the Japanese alphabet.

"Yuuta, these are japanese alphabets, now read with me, this, は, is pronounced as 'wa' now follow me, 'wa'..come try again, 'wa' "

Yuuta stared at Syuusuke, utterly confused. "It's ok if you not get it the first time, let's try again, 'wa', 'wa, 'wa'..."

Yuuta still could not understand what is required of him, confused and afraid, he started bawling 'WAWAWAHHWAWAWA!'

Syuusuke have no idea to feel happy that Yuuta finally gets it, or helpless, since his beloved brother is crying. At his wit's end, Syuusuke is at loss at what to do.

Syuusuke joins in, and started crying as well.

 **Age 7**

Syuusuke is finally old enough to go to elementary school. He was very excited for school. It was his first time going to school, since he was home-schooled the whole while long, so the idea of going to school was something new to him. Filled with anticipation, he headed towards the school gates, bubbling with excitement.

All the school teachers were amazed with Syuusuke's intellect. They kept showering Syuusuke with praises in every class. All in all, Syuusuke is just like a model student. His classmates liked him as well. These young children still have no idea what jealousy is. With a pure heart, they accepted Syuusuke as their model student, and since Syuusuke is a nice boy, there is no reason why they should dislike him, right? that's everybody's mindset back then. When the teacher assigned them group work, everyone will be fighting to be in Syuusuke's group. They loved to be in Syuusuke's presence, because he is a polite, and nice boy. He treats everyone with kindness, and is a pretty fun boy too. Syuusuke's kind smile makes him very approachable. He is a witty boy as well, always able to think right on the spot and come out with really funny jokes that sets the whole class off. No one would have any complaints about him. Syuusuke is just such a perfect companion to be with.

At home, Syuusuke was a well-loved boy as well. He recently finished taking his grade 5 exam (after skipping a few grades) and will be taking his 8th soon. He won competitions after competitions, his entire room is filled with trophies from different sort of competition. One pile of the trophies comes from music competition, another pile is from singing, and the stack on top of his shelves are from marathons. Yuuta and Syuusuke shared a room, however, the overwhelming load of trophies in Syuusuke's room is taking up too much space, that either the trophies have to go, or Yuuta needs to move into their parents room.

Obviously Syuusuke choose to keep the latter one.

 **Age 11**

 _This is the age where most children are able to distinguish between **romantic love and like** ,_

Piles of love letter starts appearing inside Syuusuke's letter box, which he kindly decline. People are more crazy for his attention, especially girls. But they are getting more and more distant away from him as well. They all hang around him, because he is a 'cool' person to hang out he is 'the most handsome man I've ever met'. Because 'He is like prince charming'. Because he is 'smart'. Syuusuke worth, is only based on his looks and brains.

 _This is the age where most children are able to distinguish between **admiration and jealousy.**_

Syuusuke, with such good looks, and great reputation, is certainly on everyone's to-friend list. Everyone wished to be like him, but since not anyone could, there are bound to be someone jealous of him. And to be honest, being on the receiving end is not fun at all.

"Oh look at that tensai, I heard that on the recent test, he scored full marks for it!

" "What? Despite it being a killer test? It was set by that demon teacher you know!"

"Is it even surprising? He always aced his exams, I wonder does he even have a life outside of school, seriously that mugger"

"Shh..he can hear you you know?"

"So what? I am speaking the truth!"

He can only put on his poker face and embraced it all. This is not the first time anyway.

"FUJI! YOU BASTARD, HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND AWAY!" A giant started storming towards Syuusuke.

" Murasaki? What did I-?"

"SHUT UP!" Murasaki swung his heavy punch towards Fuji - but he missed. Or rather, Fuji swiftly evaded to the side, and by reflexes, he grab hold of Murasaki's wrist and throw him onto the floor.

"You bastard..I treated you as a friend..yet..yet Sakura fell in love with you.." Murasaki cursed bitterly on the floor.

"Murasaki, I did not go out with Sakura at all, I rejected her so-"

"SHUT UP!" Murasaki picked himself up.

"I don't want to see you ever again. Our friendship ends here, you traitor. Well, it's not like you need such a big ugly looking jerk like me as your friend anyway. You have tons of people out there, ready to join your 'Syuusuke' cult, do you even need me? Sakura may be just another girl to you, but she's the girl I swore my life to. I know I will never win you, in any aspects, including love. Just disappear from my life."

Syuusuke was left, all alone.

 _This is the age, where children are slowly maturing, into young adults._ They are **_graduating from their child-like innocence_**

The past when no one minded farting out loud in class, the past where no one minded Syuusuke to see their ugly artwork is long gone. Nowadays, people are more mindful of themselves, and are more deliberate, more pretentious. Girls dolling themselves up, covering their face with layers of make up. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look prettier. But a make up is supposed to enhance your features, not to edit your face to make it more pleasant. Boys hiding their problems, trying to act like macho man. Everyone is putting on a facade, to look more appealing. Everyone is right here, but they seem so distant away, as if what's seen is not them. the real them is far far away.

 _This is the age, where Syuusuke starts to feel the sharpness of his **double edge sword.**_

 **Age 12**

Syuusuke finally makes it into his dream middle school- Seigaku. Seigake is a prestigious school in his area. It has a good reputation for its academics and clubs, especially for their tennis. Though the sport itself does not appeal to Syuusuke much, but it is Yuuta's favorite sport. Syuusuke wanted to pick up the sport, so that he will be able to spend more time together with Yuuta, playing tennis together. Yuuta has grown to become a mischievous, slightly rebellious, and has a hard cover, but deep down, he has a caring and sweet interior. Both of them will always do the the same things together, and they are literally inseparable.

To Yuuta, Syuusuke is like a reliable brother, always there to listen to his complaints and unreasonable demands. No matter how bad things look, Syuusuke will always have a solution ready, and he was saved many times by Syuusuke's brains. Syuusuke never judges what he did, and always accept him for who he is. Even back then when he was still young and immature, he mistook his feelings for his brother as romantic affections, Syuusuke did not despise him or anything. He just smiled and gave him a tight hug. Then he told him gently that what he's feeling is just an illusion, and it will fade with maturity. Syuusuke was right. In fact he is always right. However, what Yuuta could not understand, why does Syuusuke's eyes look so sad, when he told him that it's just an illusion? Why his voice dripped with coldness, when Yuuta told him that he finally grew away from that illusion, and he was a normal straight guy?

Guess geniuses have their own weird operating system in their brains uh..

Syuusuke cannot stand Yuuta leaving him for the courts every single Sunday. They spent every moments of their time together-apart froom school that is. This was how they lived for the past 10 years, before Yuuta got hooked with Tennis. Just the thought of having Yuuta away from him terrifies him. And the thought of him being so reliant of Yuuta's presence sickens him too. He started to realise his feelings for Yuuta is not usual. Syuusuke know that it is wrong to feel this way. But, if there is anything that genius cannot control and manipulate, that will be his feelings. Syuusuke will never accept LGBTs. He stood firm in his beliefs that such things are wrong. They are not accepted by the society. He knows that in his mind. But he have no idea why it's wrong. It's wrong 'cos others say so. So what. He doesn't get it. He feel so conflicted by his mind and his heart. Luckily Yuuta wasnt on the same baot as him. He will cursed himself if Yuuta would to land in the same situation as him. IF there's anything he can do about this situation, that would be to prevent Yuuta from walking the same path as he did.

 **Age 13**

 **He will never forget this day.** It wasnt his fault. Or maybe it is. Yuuta left home. All because of him. All because of his stupid obsession with perfection. Is winning the Nationals that important? Tennis to him is just a sport. a sport that he started out so that he can connect with Yuuta more. It backfired in the end. Their relationship did not come closer, in fact, it ended.

" _I don't want to see your face, or hear your name ever again_."

Syuusuke had ceased to live. The reason why he held out so long, his pillar of support just collapsed. Syuusuke had just fell into the pits of hell. It's a dark, dark hole filled with absolutely nothing.

" _All you ever do is to overshadow me. Deprived me of sunlight. Steal my identity_."

He had no idea that he inflicted such wounds on his dear brother. How he hate himself, for hurting Yuuta. If there's anything he cannot forgive, that will be anyone that hurt Yuuta. He is no exception.

" _You don't even need to work hard. You make me look like a fool. I will never reach up to you, and whatever I do is just plain useless._ "

He got it. It's the same old cycle all over again. That familiar stab strike deep inside his heart. That stinging pain he knew so well. Jealousy. He carelessly allowed that to seep into his relationship with Yuuta. He's going to lose another relationship due to it again.

" _I hate you. I hate you for who you are._ "

He hates himself too. Glad that they share mutual feelings about that, at least that one of the few things they share in common.

* * *

 **AN: Hope that you guys would enjoyed this. Pls R &R, and if the response are good, I will continue the story. Aiming for a 2-shot:D **

-Part 1/2,つづく-


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